Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
