I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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