my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
