The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
