So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize