I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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