Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
