I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
