does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
