we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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