can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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