I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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