Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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