i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
