At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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