Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me