uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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