At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time