i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy