so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been