my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
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