This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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