You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
