she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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