Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
