yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
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Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
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Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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