just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
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I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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