it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
