i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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