He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
