the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
