Me too!
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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