Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
