dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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