went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
