omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
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