dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i dont even know how to be here
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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