forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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