You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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