god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
