Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
