Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
