I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
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