All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
