thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
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