I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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