i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Even my vagina gasped.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
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