Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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