I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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