I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?