Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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