dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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