she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
