Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
