did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
