I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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