i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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