May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I love having hate sex.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
