he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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