At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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