Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
