I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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