also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
