She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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