I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize