Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Are these your boobs on my camera?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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