If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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