i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
