If i come over, it means nothing
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
