does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
