I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
